My life in the village

I've got to move back to a larger city.

I've lived here in ET for nearly five years. It's a pleasant enough community: Quiet, friendly, safe. I never have to lock up my car or my house, which is nice. The schools are good, I like all of my daughter's friends, and the people here are friendly.

I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

ET is not a place where you can disappear, or be alone, or be anonymous. In a large city, you can go places alone, or stay cooped up at home, and no one gives your situation any thought. Here in ET, if you're invited to a function or a gathering, you're expected to show up. If you don't make it, or even politely decline ahead of time, people want to know why. Most times the answer would be, "Because I didn't fucking feel like it," but that's not the kind of response that goes over well in places like ET.

If you haven't been seen out or about in a day or two, the neighbors drop by to see if you're okay. "I'm fine. Really. I just haven't felt like putting on my social face and making sappy, neighborly talk for your benefit." Again, not the kind of response that is looked upon as polite.

ET is also not the place where you want to make any significant life changes, at least without putting a fucking notice in the paper. My house went on the market a couple of months ago because I'm divorcing my husband. Conversations with a few of my neighbors went something like this:

NEIGHBOR: Oh, you're selling your house? (Which would be why the big FOR SALE sign is posted in the lawn.)

ME: Yeah, I think I'll be moving back to ....Milwaukee.......

NEIGHBOR: Why are you selling the house? (My husband hasn't been around for a while. Should I just tell this guy to mind his own business?)

ME: John and I are getting divorced. He moved out and I can't afford to keep it on my own.

NEIGHBOR: Awww.... I'm so sorry to hear that.

It's at this point I become uncomfortably aware that the neighbor in question assumes that my husband has left me for another woman, as he now lives in another state with another woman... I can see the pity in his face. Oh, that poor lady. Her husband abandoned her for someone else. Do I bother to tell him that I was the one who dumped his ass? Not that it matters. Do I actually give a shit about what this guy thinks? Why do I feel defensive about it? Fuck it. I let it go, say "thanks," or something equally as obtuse, and get the hell away from the conversation as quickly as possible.

I guess I should mention somewhere that for months now, my terminally unemployed best friend of 30+ years, who has gone through cancer, surgeries and chemo, and who lost her home along most of her worldly possessions and a good portion of her sanity, has been staying with me; she's currently living in my garage with her cat. Mind you, this is not in an apartment above my garage, but on a blow-up bed where my car should be parked. Because her cat was pissing in my house (that I'm trying to sell -- the pervasive smell of cat urine not being high on the selling points list), I relocated him to the garage while my BF was in a mental hospital. She can't bear to sleep in the house with central air, in her own room, in a comfortable double bed, while kitty hangs out in the garage. (He seemed to be enjoying himself out there while Mommy was away.) Mercifully, even the nosiest of neighbors hasn't been plucky enough to inquire about that situation. In a larger city, I don't know that the neighbors would even notice my Kooky Kat Lady, but it's glaringly obvious here.

Of course, if BF stayed in the house, then people would likely assume that my husband left me for another woman because I'm a lesbian.

Attempting to date while living in ET is more work than it ought to be. There are a few bars here in the village that may offer an opportunity to meet someone, but I'm not too excited about the idea of going to a bar alone to meet inebriated guys. Bringing the BF with me just makes the evening twice as expensive, and five times the adventure. Other than the Electric Railroad Museum (no thanks), there are no cultural attractions where I could possibly meet a single man. So, when I do get out on a date, it's usually somewhere that's a 30-60 minute drive for me, as there's not much to do in ET. I can forget catching a buzz while I'm out, because, again, I'm usually a 30-60 minute drive from home and I don't especially feel like going to jail or committing vehicular manslaughter on my way home. So, I don't go out as much as I'd like, living here in ET.

Eventually the house will sell, my daughter will be away to college, BF will have found a job and her own place, and I will move back to the city. There, I will have more of a social life when I want, can live the life of a hermit when it suits me, will have better opportunities to meet men, the neighbors won't notice, or at least feel the need to comment on, everything that goes on in my world, and I can be anonymous at times. Then I'll have a new set of things to bitch about. I can't wait.

Mixter

Another quiz!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Stability |||||||||||||||||| 74% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||| 30% Artistic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 70% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 70% Adventurousness |||| 16% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Humanitarian |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 63% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70% Romantic |||||||||||| 43% Avoidant || 10% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43% Wealth || 10% Dependency |||||||||| 36% Change averse |||||||||||| 43% Cautiousness |||||| 30% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||||| 56% Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36% Family drive |||||||||||||||||| 76% Physical Fitness |||||| % Histrionic |||||| 30% Paranoia |||| 16% Vanity |||||||||| 36% Honor |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Thriftiness |||||| 30%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

I'd have to say this one is pretty accurate. More about my results:

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Very correct. And, I have been working on this last one; I have been taking some time to be introspective in order to develop my own interests and discover my internally based identity.

Lastly:

TRAIT SNAPSHOT: social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

Some of these are more accurate than others, and some of them I have been spending time working on.

If you're interested in a little self discovery, I would recommend taking this quiz. Very interesting.

Mixter

On what else will Obama refine his stance?

Let the political shifting begin!

Barack Obama said that he might "refine" his views on his plans to withdraw U.S. combat troops from Iraq.

Really.

“I’ve always said that the pace of withdrawal would be dictated by the safety and security of our troops and the need to maintain stability,” he said. “That assessment has not changed. And when I go to Iraq and have a chance to talk to some of the commanders on the ground, I’m sure I’ll have more information and will continue to refine my policies.”

Mr. Obama has long spoken of consulting with commanders in the field as part of his plan for a phased withdrawal, but his shift in emphasis in the way he spoke about the situation on Thursday — after weeks in which Republicans and even an outside Iraq policy adviser to his campaign argued against a withdrawal along the lines he had proposed — fueled speculation that he might not be wedded to his timetable.

What else might be refined during the campaign? Yeah, I know he wants to win, and I would much rather have Obama win than have McCain in office, but I don't like it when the "presumed" nominee starts changing his stance on issues once there is no competition on the Democratic side. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Mixter

Let the Controversy Begin

Now, I have been trying to avoid getting too in to this election mess, but after reading this article I was moved to being pissed off, yet again! Seems that Obama is talking about the need to continue and ADD more dollars to Bush's faith based initiatives. He wants to expand them and send more money their way. Now, I do agree with the statement that he made,""The challenges we face today ... are simply too big for government to solve alone," BUT .....

I do not like the idea that he may be supporting the ability to hire and fire based on faith. (Note: The Associated Press initially reported Obama supports "their (faith-based organizations') ability to hire and fire based on faith." NBC reports the campaign says Obama's plan would prevent organizations from discriminating based on faith. The Associated Press changed its wording to say, "some ability to hire and fire based on faith." The campaign says this second version is still inaccurate.)

I think that the religious organizations need to be totally out of the picture and another way found. I do not have the answers, but this seems to be heading into a whole different kind of mess. What about people, like me, that profess no specific "faith" or organized religion? Are we not allowed to seek help because we do not follow the same path as those that dish out the help/food/services? What about volunteering/working for them? Same thing, will they turn down my help because I do not follow their paths?

I believe that it is a slippery slope and one that we never should have entered in to and one that should disappear and alternatives found.

I've been cheating...

Yeah, I've been cheating on my blog. I've been hanging out on MySpace lately.

I'm sorry.

But, for those of you who actually use MySpace, I gotta ask: Do I look that gullible?

Or, do Nigerians do this to everyone?

Okay... I'm assuming they're Nigerian -- perhaps that's an unfair stereotype, but since they're well known for their e-mail scams (and for chatting my ex up in the middle of the night at one point in time...), I think I'm probably accurate with my assumption.

Who else gets this? You sign on to MySpace, you goof around for a little bit -- see what's new, what's going on with your friends, whatever -- then you get an e-mail notification, and go to a message like this:

Hello sweetie

How are you doing?I'm Fred... I hope you get this mail and it finds you well. I was glancing through profiles when your gorgeous picture got me attracted while your lovely words had me write you.. loll. I really was marvel led reading your profile and i enjoyed doing so. The first thing that came to my mind when i saw your picture was.. 'WOW.. you're drop dead GORGEOUS. loll. so i thought i'ld take out time to introduce myself
Where do you live?
I was born and raised in United state of Kingdom ,but i live in west liberty Kentucky since my widower and willing to relocate for the right person.. you can IM me on fred_james26@yahoo.com... Hope to hear from u soon..

Of course, there's always a picture of some handsome dude on the profile, and if you actually GO to the profile, the dude's ONLY friend is Tom, or perhaps he has one other friend who is a relatively unattractive female (not that I'm a sex goddess myself, but I haven't cracked a mirror yet) who obviously just got the same message.

Let's look at this message a little more closely:

loll? What's the last L for? What, it all stands for "laughing out loud, loser?" It might as well, if you're going to get pulled in...

No offense to myself, but NO ONE is EVER going to look at a picture of me and say to themselves, WOW.... you're drop dead GORGEOUS. And, I have a fairly large ego, so, yeah, I think someone might think I'm cute or whatever... A swimsuit model I will never be.

I find it interesting that "Fred" was born in the United state of Kingdom; I didn't bother to Google that... And that he lives in Kentucky since his widower. AND, that he's WILLING TO RELOCATE for the right person! Fancy that...

Yeah, "Fred." I really feel special. Thanks for your interest, flatterer!

Mixter

How Much Closer are We?

How much closer are we to going in to Iran before "you-know-who" vacates the White House? I am getting the feeling that it is much closer than any of us would like. Mother Jones has put together an interesting group of people to answer questions regarding this issue. An Israeli intel correspondent, an Iranian American activist, an arms expert, a former peace negotiator, and an anti-war intellectual. You can post questions, it is a blogging type situation, and then they will discuss it among themselves and the readers.

Check it out and see what you think.

New Ink

This is not my arm, but it is the same tattoo that I just got on my right arm yesterday. He changed up the flower colors a bit and made them brighter, but basically the same. I loved that it was silly and made me laugh.

Got Junk?

Newsweek magazine has an article about what our junk reveals about us. Our clutter, the crap we have piled on our desks and the type of crap that we save or have just not thrown out. Sam Gosling, a psychology professor, has written a book; "Snoop: What Your Stuff says about You".

He says that the things that people have, and keep, can tell you more about them than face-to-face meetings. This stuff serves as the "non-verbal" cues to who and what we are that is not so apparent to the rest of the world.

He uses his study of the Greek way of defining the personality types and even the Myers-Briggs testing styles to come up with the style that he uses to help you equate people based on their junk. He has five areas that he uses; openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neurotic ism. OCEAN for short. How we organize our spaces decides where we fall into each of these areas. Messy people tend to score high for extroversion, but low in conscientiousness, while people with generic or un-decorated bedrooms and office spaces will tend to fall high in conscientiousness, but low in openness.

If this book is inexpensive I think I might pick it up for fun. I would like to take a walk through my spaces and see where it puts me and how closely it is. Years ago I took the Myers-Briggs assessment, for one of those group building/dynamics courses. Trying to get us all to see how to work more effectively with the other "types" in the mix. I came out as an extrovert-sensor-feeling-preceptor. I don't know if any of you have ever taken that assessment, but it is a somewhat lengthy test and then you do find out some intuitive things about yourself and it was quite accurate to my style, especially in the work and group areas. I did see that they also have an easier/user friendly version on the Internet if any of you want to check it out and see where you fall. I am "classified" as the Joker and it does truly fit my work style and life.

As I have gotten older I find that the people that I am most drawn to also seem to have the same home style and types of junk that I do. It must be that we are drawn to those that are most like ourselves. One of my favorite quotes that I keep posted on my fridge is, "Clutter is a sign of life being lived".

And so I live on.

....but I Prefer Black.

Your Mind is Blue

Of all the mind types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Mind?

But, my favorite color is red!

Your Mind is Green

Of all the mind types, yours has the most balance. You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver. You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

What Color Is Your Mind?

Found it on a MySpace blog...

Hello cats and kittens! Somehow, my liberal juices are starting to flow again! I think it's a combination of a) I'm guessing my life really can't get more fucking outrageous than it already is, b) the Dem primary season is FINALLY over, and c) I just met a nifty guy on MySpace who posted the following on his blog:

How To Discuss Taxes With a Conservative

Admitting you're a Liberal is kind of like admitting you were the captain of the chess team or played Dungeons and Dragons as a teenager. Liberals are mamby-pamby. They're weak. They're whimps. Phil Donahue could be the National Spokesperson for Liberals. Conservatives have pushed Liberals around for years and used every nasty, childish, playground Dirty Trick to make Liberals appear like weak, limp-wristed, ivory tower elitists with granola in their guts and Evian in their veins. And it has worked for the same reason any playground bully is successful: most of us didn't fight back. It got so bad that before Barack Obama appeared on the scene it was impossible to even find anyone who would admit to being a Liberal.

I think one failure of Liberals is the belief that if you hold ideals of fairness, compassion, freedom and opportunity for all no one can argue against you. Didn't work for Jesus and it won't work for you. You need to know how to fight and defend you beliefs. To not only parry against the Republican Sheeple Attack Squads but deliver well thought out and effective responses to not only stop the morons in their tracks but actually destroy their argument all together. Note to Liberals: it's OK to defend yourself. It's not undignified to shout down someone who is belittling you and it is not beneath you to actually fight for what you believe.

In the last election Ohio was decided primarily on the issue of gay marriage. Liberals lost the election because they didn't have one effective counter to the gay marriage barrage by the Conservatives. But the granddaddy of all anti-Liberal attacks is the classic Tax and Spend Liberal who is going to raise your taxes and give your money to programs to people too lazy to work. It's worked since FDR and it's working now. I'm going to give you some ammunition to attack that attack instead of just sitting back n your heels.

George W Bush was "elected" in 2000 and had a Republican controlled Congress for the first six years of his presidency. This means Conservatives had free reign to do as they wished in all three branches of the government(Legislative, Judicial,Executive) for six years. They ran the show. And they spent the lights out. George Bush presided over the most egregious spending orgy America has ever known. And it's not even close. He ran up the first trillion dollar deficit then the first two trillion dollar deficit then the first three trillion dollar deficit. There hasn't been a no-bid weapons dealing, oil drilling, private security peddling corporation that hasn't been the lucky recipient of most of this new spending. Your tax dollars. Going to Corporate Welfare recipients like Halliburton, Bechtel, Bear Stearns, United Airlines…. So when the NASCAR Republican with three teeth and a satellite dish that gets Fox News tells you Liberals just want to raise your taxes to give the money to minorities tell him Bill Clinton actually balanced the Federal budget and George Bush spent more money that any ten Presidents combined.

Raising taxes. This moronic charge has been sufficient to win elections at all levels. George Bush has raised your taxes. Astronomically. By refusing to make wealthy corporations and individuals pay their fair share of taxes your local and state governments and governing bodies have been forced to raise your taxes in numerous ways. The lottery is a tax and pay tolls are a tax and licenses are a tax and taxes on gas and food are a tax and tuitions rates and fees for extracurricular events are a tax and property taxes are a tax and inflation is a tax. What? Inflation is a tax? That's not right. Sure it is. Whenever another person raises the price of a commodity to compensate for the excessive taxes they pay to produce the products it's a de facto tax. You're being taxed up the wing-wang by state and local politicians because they have no choice but to raise taxes because the wealthy corporations won't pay their Federal taxes so there's no money for your schools, your roads, your police, your water, your fire protection.

Whether your local politician is Liberal or Conservative is irrelevant your taxes went up drastically. Haven't they? So, here's what will happen: McCain and every Conservative in every election nationwide will get up and say his/her opponent is going to raise your taxes. Here's what you say: "You mean more than Conservatives already have by forcing me to pay for Corporate Welfare programs at the local level." Don't let them get away with the garbage. Know the truth and say the truth. There are dozens of taxes you and I pay nearly every day and Federal Taxes are just one of them. Take a few moments during this next month to really watch where your money is going. At the gas pump: tax. At the grocery store: tax. Sending kids to school: tax, tax, tax. Toll booth: tax. Inflation: hidden tax. Lottery ticket: self-imposed tax. And even after paying all these taxes you're still responsible for those who are sick, and poor and hungry and homeless and forsaken and broken and mentally handicapped because the Federal Government sure isn't going to do it. They got better things to do (with your money) like giving it to Backwater and ensuring News Corp(Fox, My Space etc…) gets a tax exemption(that's right they paid zero taxes, don't believe me look it up).

And that's the final tax… charity. After all your hard work and trusting your government to do the right thing with the money they extort from you they leave your soldiers wandering the streets and housed in rat infested dumps and leave your children uneducated and your handicapped and sick and poor without the services you already paid for. So we all pay again. Because WE have humanity. Because we care about each other. Because we think fair is fair. If stealing from your fellow man is strength and compassion is weakness I choose weakness. I choose to be a Liberal and am proud to be.

Well, now that I've piggybacked on this post, maybe I'll start doing some writing and ranting of my own sometime soon!

Mixter

Like a Vacation

Seems as if I have been on a vacation. I have been eating all the time; cooking out steak, burgers & dogs. Wine of the white & red varieties. Cheesecake. Lots and lots of corn-on-the-cob dripping in butter. Night fires in the pit and late nights. No, not a vacation, but rather John has been home for three weeks!

He left this morning for another tour in Australia. Another new town and a company that has never had one of these machines before, so we expect a 3 week or more trip.

I told him that I was almost glad that he was leaving because all I have done since he has been home is eat. I think I only ran twice and worked out a handful of times. This has really been like a relaxing vacation! It seemed as if we both hung out around the house and got some much needed tasks accomplished as well as watching a little junk TV. We hung out in the yard often and threw enough tennis balls for the dog to feel like we were pitching in the majors!! When she got tired of that we opted for a Frisbee.

We drank coffee outside in the morning and watched the birds come to the feeder. Drank wine and beer outside, at night, and either had a fire where we would take turns poking it, or on the porch under the dim summer lighting that I put up.

It was the most relaxed that I have been in weeks. I have had no interest in politics at all and could care less about the election right now. I have barely looked at the news aside from a little Internet news. Part of my good state of mind is possibly due to cutting out all the negative crap that is out there on a daily basis. I have thought about blogging, but just did not think of anything important to say.

Then it dawned on me...I don't really have to always be timely and pertinent. I don't always have to be engaged in some big discussion or argument about about world events or things that piss me off. Life is too short to always be either angry or blaming someone. It is about the good things, family, friends, a good dog, a nice fire to poke and a bottle of your favorite red or white.